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Cause-Cause-Cause versus Cause-and-Effect

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Let's take a light approach.

Some people say that there are two types of people: My sister, Judy, says that there are two types of people (so we know which type she fits in!):

Cause-and-Effect people expect there to be consequences to their behavior. They go out into the Universe and create an action, a cause, and the universe supplies a reaction, an effect. The universe makes sense. If they choose to jump off of a building, they can expect that the effect may very well be a rude awakening when they hit the ground.

Cause people do not have this basic understanding. They go out into the Universe and go 'Cause… Cause… Cause… Cause… Cause…' and then the Universe takes a giant two-by-four and whollops them upside the head. Their reaction is along the lines of "Where in the f--k did that come from?"

As you might guess, these two types of people are analagous to adults and children. An adult understands, or can learn, that action A can bring about reaction A'. If the adult, the cause-and-effect person, does not like the reaction of A', then pretty quickly, that adult will quit creating action A.

The child, however, does not understand the consequences of his/her choice or action. This is not any different from the saying that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result.

If the world as you see it around you does not make sense, if you don't like what you see, then maybe it's time to recognize your part in it and to make a change. Make a different choice to bring about a different outcome.

By committing yourself to the Sexuality Contract, you give yourself the framework to build a house, not out of straw, not out of wood, but out of brick. When the Big Bad Wolf comes along to blow your house down, you can rest assured that you are safe from the hurricane that may have left you devastated before.

Become an adult; commit yourself to an understanding of cause-and-effect.

Protect yourself by looking out for red flags, by knowing what your own deal-breakers are (and sticking to them both) and understanding what you both need and want from your partner.



Sexuality Contract
Darbie Marlin
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Two Types of People