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Red Flags Tell You When to Run!

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You'll sometimes find wisdom in the strangest places. Check out these words from character Sookie Stackhouse from the series/books, True Blood:

"I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for that moment-you know the one I mean-the moment when your date suddenly confesses to something you just can't stomach: he reveals himself as a racist or homophobe, admits he'd never marry anyone but another Baptist (Southerner, brunette, marathon runner, whatever), tells you about his children by his first three wives, describes his fondness for being paddled, or relates his youthful experiences in blowing up frogs or torturing cats. After that moment, no matter how much fun you have, you know it's not going anywhere."
Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris

Red Flags are any values or personality quirks that you should be looking for that tell you that this relationship, no matter how much chemistry you have, or how great it feels, is not in your best interests to pursue. You can try to tell yourself that you can overlook some things, but in your sensible moments, you should know better that some things just mean that this particular person is either not a good match for you or even is not a healthy match for anyone.

Some things might show themselves right away; others may take time to become evident (which is why it's recommended that you go slow and abstain from sex until you have the time to see either potential red flags or, just as important, your own personal deal breakers).

You may notice that the first five items on the list relate directly to your personal sexuality contract. While the contract is with yourself, rather than your potential partner, these are still important items to allow you to use your discernment (or judgement, if you will) to determine if this may or cannot be a healthy relationship for you. When you see that these values are not the same as your own, it's a warning to you to make your own choice to walk or run away. It doesn't necessarily mean that he/she is a bad person, just not a good match for you to begin a healthy relationship that will lead to commitment.



Sexuality Contract
Darbie Marlin
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It's okay to keep it to your self!