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Make a List of What You Want

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For some people, it's easy to list what they don't want. But, it's also important to know what you do want in a partner and a relationship. Think of it as a shopping list: your contract gives you the strength to go into the store and leave the things that you don't want (the red flags and the deal breakers, like ice cream and cookies), seeking out those things that you do want (like healthy vegetables and fruit).

One way to look at it is to consider that most of the people on the planet (or your country, your state, your city) are, actually, not going to be a very good match for you. You're attempting to change what you've been doing in the past in order to allow a healthy, positive relationship into your life, one that fulfills your needs and dreams. You create the opportunity to draw positive things in your life when you know what you want.

There are several areas in which it is helpful to be sympathetic with a potential partners:

Here are some of the items that are on my own list; some of them may not be for you, others may be missing:



Interests / Choices

Sexual Preferences

Sexuality Contract
Darbie Marlin

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You Need to Know What You Want!