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About Darbie Marlin

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So, if you've been routing around this web site, you might be wondering who I am and what I bring to the table so that you should listen to me. Here's a little bit about me.

First, the 'bad' news: I have never been married, I have no children and my college degrees are in Engineering. No social work, no counciling.

But, I believe I have something to share. After I left the engineering and computer science field, I began a second career as a massage therapist. I never pretended to be a councilor to my clients; however, it wasn't uncommon for people to open up because massage would free up stuck emotions. I would ask them questions, always being clear that I didn't need to know the answers to the questions, but that they did.

I have studied Polarity Therapy, a philosophy that attempts to reconcile the body, the mind, the emotions and the spirit. I have years and years of chair-side observation of the human condition, including my own. I've seen marriages work and marriages fail.

In September, 2005, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Following surgery, I began a regimin of chemo-therapy. I found out that, once you have cancer, life is just a little bit short to deal with bull excretia. It made me more likely to cut to the chase, to get to the bottom of issues.

In January, 2006, I began attending Cancer Support Group and met Tess Taft (MSW). Over the years, from time to time, Tess would share with us the concept of the Sexuality Contract, a way that one could protect oneself from some of the potentially damaging consequences of engaging in sexual behavior that might not be in one's best interest.

When I told Tess that I was thinking about 'passing it on' and developing this web site, I asked her where the original concept for the contract came from, assuming that it was one of the tools that she shared with her clients. And, it turns out, the first four precepts of the contract were her original brain child.

The fifth tenet, having your potential partner vetted by your friends and/or family is a concept that I brought to the table (having been burned before by rushing in when my friends saw things that I didn't).

So, I offer you Tess's contract, not because I have formal training, but because I have a lifetime of experience and observations to bring to the table.

FYI: personally, I have been celibate for over 20 years. I have recently decided that it is time to place myself back in the dating pool, to remove the "I am not available" sign that I have embedded on my forehead in order to be 'safe' from men. "Ships are safe inside the harbor, but is that what ships are for?"


Sexuality Contract
Darbie Marlin
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